The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Chimere Dike
Chimere Dike · TEN · WR
“Dike finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Dike's week
- Dike is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Dike will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
73%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Dike, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Chimere Dike in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Chimere Dike is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Chimere Dike actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.