The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Colston Loveland
Colston Loveland · CHI · TE
“Loveland goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Loveland's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Loveland's stadium. Only over Loveland.
- Loveland is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
73%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Loveland drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Caleb Williams
- Luther Burden III
- D'Andre Swift
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Kyle Monangai
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Rome Odunze
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Colston Loveland in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Colston Loveland is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Colston Loveland actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.