The Late Scratch Hex of Dallas Cowboys
Dallas Cowboys defense
“The Cowboys defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Dallas Cowboys defense's week
- The Cowboys defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Cowboys defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.
92%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Group Chat FuneralVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
Incantation
Eye of Vikings, tongue of ref,
Bring Cowboys down to grief,
Cowboys scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- CeeDee Lamb
- George Pickens
- Javonte Williams
- Dak Prescott
- Brandon Aubrey
- Jake Ferguson
- Kendre Miller
- Ryan Flournoy
- Michael Trigg
- KaVontae Turpin
- Houston Texans
- New England Patriots
FAQ
How do I curse Dallas Cowboys defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dallas Cowboys defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dallas Cowboys defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.