The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of D'Andre Swift
D'Andre Swift · CHI · RB
“Swift sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Swift's week
- Swift will fumble on his first touch and live in the doghouse until the 4th quarter.
- A backup RB with an unpronounceable name will score twice on 6 carries. He is on nobody's roster.
90%POTENCY
-18PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Swift drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse D'Andre Swift in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If D'Andre Swift is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing D'Andre Swift actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.