The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of D'Andre Swift
D'Andre Swift · CHI · RB
“Swift is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Swift's week
- Swift will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Swift sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
85%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Swift drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse D'Andre Swift in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If D'Andre Swift is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing D'Andre Swift actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.