The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Sampson's stadium. Only over Sampson.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Tennessee's biggest rival.
- Sampson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
90%POTENCY
-15.9PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Sampson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.