The Garbage-Time Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Tennessee's biggest rival.
- Ref: "Number Sampson, that's a flag." Sampson: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
85%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A single tear from a Rams fan
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Sampson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.