The Toe-Out-of-Bounds Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson gets 3 yards per carry and one 2-yard catch on a screen. Efficient. In a sad way.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson runs for 98 yards, one short of the bonus, then goes down on the kneel-down. Scorched.
- Sampson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
82%POTENCY
-12.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Sampson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
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FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.