The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Sampson sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
72%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Sampson, Sampson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.