The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Sampson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Tennessee's biggest rival.
91%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Sampson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.