The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Dylan Sampson
Dylan Sampson · CLE · RB
“Sampson gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Sampson's week
- Sampson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Sampson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
87%POTENCY
-16.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Sampson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Dylan Sampson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Dylan Sampson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Dylan Sampson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.