The Hamstring Hex of Eli Raridon
Eli Raridon · NE · TE
“Raridon sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Raridon's week
- Rookie Raridon gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Raridon will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
77%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Raridon's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Tyler Warren
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Raridon in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Raridon is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Raridon actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.