The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Raridon
Eli Raridon · NE · TE
“Rookie Raridon gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Raridon's week
- A mysterious flag erases Raridon's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Raridon runs a perfect route, gets wide open, and is ignored in a way that feels personal.
89%POTENCY
-18.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Powdered kicker confidence
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Raridon drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Tyler Warren
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Raridon in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Raridon is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Raridon actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.