The Chip-and-Release Hex of Eli Raridon
Eli Raridon · NE · TE
“Raridon finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Raridon's week
- Raridon will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Raridon will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
79%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Raridon's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Tyler Warren
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Raridon in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Raridon is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Raridon actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.