The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Eli Raridon
Eli Raridon · NE · TE
“A mysterious flag erases Raridon's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Raridon's week
- Raridon gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- Rookie Raridon gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
75%POTENCY
-18.9PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single Seahawks jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Raridon drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Tyler Warren
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
FAQ
How do I curse Eli Raridon in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Eli Raridon is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Eli Raridon actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.