The Upright Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
- The broadcast shows McPherson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
90%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A single sock, mismatched, from the 49ers locker room
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
McPherson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.