The Shank Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- McPherson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
89%POTENCY
-18.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Patriots jersey, ironically worn
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Powdered kicker confidence
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Eye of Cowboys, tongue of ref,
Bring Bengals down to grief,
McPherson scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.