The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.
- McPherson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
84%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
McPherson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.