The Snap Count Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson kicks a perfect ball into the end zone... and it is a kickoff. For the other team.
- McPherson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
79%POTENCY
-16PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
McPherson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.