The Doink Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time McPherson trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- McPherson warms up well and then the snap is bad. The hold is worse. The kick is a prayer.
- McPherson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
87%POTENCY
-12.6PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make McPherson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.