The Shank Hex of Evan McPherson
Evan McPherson · CIN · K
“McPherson gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins McPherson's week
- A mysterious flag erases McPherson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- McPherson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Florida's biggest rival.
76%POTENCY
-10.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
McPherson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Chase Brown
- Joe Burrow
- Tee Higgins
- Brandon Aubrey
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Evan McPherson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Evan McPherson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Evan McPherson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.