The Shadow Coverage Hex of Jalen Coker
Jalen Coker · CAR · WR
“Coker gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Holy Cross's biggest rival.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Coker's week
- Coker will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Coker's stadium. Only over Coker.
73%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Coker drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Jalen Coker in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jalen Coker is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jalen Coker actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.