The Bad Snap Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets the 3rd-and-long checkdown treatment. 2 yards. Punt. Repeat until Monday.
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
88%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.