The Hamstring Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Goff's stadium. Only over Goff.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff is already "Questionable" with that chest. The witch only has to push gently.
- Goff gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
76%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- Powdered kicker confidence
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
Incantation
Eye of Chiefs, tongue of ref,
Bring Lions down to grief,
Goff scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.