The Kneel-Down Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“The broadcast shows Goff on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Goff's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
78%POTENCY
-17.4PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goff drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.