The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
- Goff goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
77%POTENCY
-11.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Goff's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.