The Bad Snap Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Goff will scan the entire field, find nobody open, and take a 9-yard sack for his trouble.
79%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.