The Bad Snap Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff takes a knee 3 times with the lead. History books will not mention the fantasy cost.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of California's biggest rival.
- Goff will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
82%POTENCY
-11.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Goff drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.