The Intentional Grounding Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff is already "Questionable" with that chest. The witch only has to push gently.
- Goff gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
84%POTENCY
-16.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Goff's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.