The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Goff sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- The broadcast shows Goff on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
73%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Goff, Goff, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.