The Checkdown Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“Garbage time arrives early for Goff: 29 points of garbage, scored by the other team.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Goff will be pressured on 9 of 10 dropbacks. The tenth is a screen that gets blown up for a loss.
86%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A used challenge flag
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Goff drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.