The Checkdown Hex of Jared Goff
Jared Goff · DET · QB
“The play clock hits zero on Goff four separate times. Five yards. Five yards. Five yards.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Goff's week
- Goff will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
- Goff tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
72%POTENCY
-12.2PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Goff's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Josh Allen
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
FAQ
How do I curse Jared Goff in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jared Goff is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jared Goff actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.