The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Jonah Coleman
Jonah Coleman · DEN · RB
“Coleman gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Coleman's week
- Coleman finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Rookie Coleman gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
92%POTENCY
-10.6PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Ravens fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Coleman drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Jonah Coleman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jonah Coleman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jonah Coleman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.