The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Jonah Coleman
Jonah Coleman · DEN · RB
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Coleman's stadium. Only over Coleman.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Coleman's week
- Rookie Coleman gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Coleman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
77%POTENCY
-16.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single Panthers jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Coleman's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Jonah Coleman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jonah Coleman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jonah Coleman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.