The Late Scratch Hex of Jonah Coleman
Jonah Coleman · DEN · RB
“Coleman will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Coleman's week
- A backup RB with an unpronounceable name will score twice on 6 carries. He is on nobody's roster.
- Rookie Coleman gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
73%POTENCY
-14.9PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Chargers fan
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Coleman's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Jonah Coleman in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jonah Coleman is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jonah Coleman actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.