The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Jonathan Taylor
Jonathan Taylor · IND · RB
“Taylor's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Taylor's week
- Taylor is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Ref: "Number Taylor, that's a flag." Taylor: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
81%POTENCY
-16.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Taylor's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
- Josh Jacobs
FAQ
How do I curse Jonathan Taylor in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Jonathan Taylor is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Jonathan Taylor actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.