The Sack Spiral Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Allen leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.
83%POTENCY
-9.7PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Eye of newt, toe of frog, and a "Questionable" tag
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Allen, Allen, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.