The Checkdown Hex of Josh Allen
Josh Allen · BUF · QB
“Allen slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Allen, the end zone is a rumor.
72%POTENCY
-14.2PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Allen's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- James Cook III
- Drake Maye
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- DJ Moore
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Josh Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Josh Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Josh Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.