The Upright Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Fairbairn trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
- Fairbairn gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
80%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Fairbairn's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.