The Doink Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.” — Hexcellent Hilda
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- Fairbairn finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
91%POTENCY
-19.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A used challenge flag
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Fairbairn's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.