The Late Scratch Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Fairbairn gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of UCLA's biggest rival.
78%POTENCY
-12PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Fairbairn, Fairbairn, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.