The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Ka'imi Fairbairn
Ka'imi Fairbairn · HOU · K
“Fairbairn gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Fairbairn's week
- Fairbairn finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Fairbairn gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of UCLA's biggest rival.
78%POTENCY
-12.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single Saints jersey, ironically worn
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Fairbairn's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Nico Collins
- David Montgomery
- Marvin Harrison Jr.
- Brandon Aubrey
- Dalton Schultz
- C.J. Stroud
- Woody Marks
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Cam Little
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
FAQ
How do I curse Ka'imi Fairbairn in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Ka'imi Fairbairn is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Ka'imi Fairbairn actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.