The Kneel-Down Heartbreak Hex of Kaleb Johnson
Kaleb Johnson · GB · RB
“Johnson will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Iowa's biggest rival.
- Johnson will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
77%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Bears locker room
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Johnson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaleb Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaleb Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaleb Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.