The Late Scratch Hex of Kaleb Johnson
Kaleb Johnson · GB · RB
“The broadcast shows Johnson on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Johnson gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.
92%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Johnson, Johnson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaleb Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaleb Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaleb Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.