The Garbage-Time Hex of Kaleb Johnson
Kaleb Johnson · GB · RB
“Johnson is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Johnson's week
- Johnson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Johnson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
92%POTENCY
-13.1PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Johnson's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Kaleb Johnson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaleb Johnson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaleb Johnson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.