The Snap Count Hex of Kaytron Allen
Kaytron Allen · MIA · RB
“Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Allen is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-12.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A single Bears jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Allen drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaytron Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaytron Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaytron Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.