The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Kaytron Allen
Kaytron Allen · MIA · RB
“Allen gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Allen's week
- Rookie Allen gets the traditional hazing: the "Welcome to the League" curse.
- Allen finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
90%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Delete the AppVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Packers locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Allen, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jahmyr Gibbs
- Bijan Robinson
- Christian McCaffrey
- Jonathan Taylor
- James Cook III
- Derrick Henry
- Saquon Barkley
- Omarion Hampton
- Ashton Jeanty
- Kyren Williams
- Chase Brown
- Kenneth Walker III
FAQ
How do I curse Kaytron Allen in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kaytron Allen is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kaytron Allen actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.