The Goal-Line Vulture Hex of Keaton Mitchell
Keaton Mitchell · LAC · RB
“Mitchell gets stuffed so hard the broadcast shows a replay in slow motion, from three angles.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Mitchell's week
- Mitchell will fumble on his first touch and live in the doghouse until the 4th quarter.
- Mitchell will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
72%POTENCY
-14.8PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Mitchell's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Keaton Mitchell in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Keaton Mitchell is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Keaton Mitchell actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.