The Hamstring Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- A mysterious flag erases Cousins's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
88%POTENCY
-19.1PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Cousins's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.