The Sack Spiral Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
- The play clock hits zero on Cousins four separate times. Five yards. Five yards. Five yards.
89%POTENCY
-11.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.